Long time no talk. we are busy but i still check in all the time. tomorrow we have family pics and as a typical woman i am stressing out. i can't figure out what to wear and how i will do my hair etc. I am still having mother in law drama though. we went over there on friday and my sister in law was home. my girls love playing dress up so my sister in law asks my mother in law where the dress she wore in my wedding was so the girls could wear it. my mother in law declared that she threw it away. ok her exact words were " that thing got lost in the move". my husband said mom you threw it away? you never throw anything away and you threw the dress she wore in our wedding away. needless to say he got an earfull on the way home and i truly am hurt. oh well my mom is all i need anyway. she is coming tomorrow so that will be a welcome change an actual person who understands me THANK GOD!!!! well now i must go and try on some more outfits i am not gonna pay for pics and look like crap. wish me luck.

Have you seen my cheese???

Oh the humanity we have lost the cheese.. literally we lost a big block of stinky cheese in our house. we went for a quad ride with our kids and justin's grandma had sent a block of cheese from the dutch bakery in chino. for some reason he had it with him (i am thinking he got it out of the fridge in the barn) he put zach in charge of the cheese. they got off the quad in the back of the dairy i for sure know the cheese was with us at that point. they then found the worlds most amazing catapillar (well to them at least) we then rode home. the cheese made it to the door the kids realized catapillars need to eat they ran off with the cheese and from that point it is a mystery. i believe they put it down in which at that point our lab swooped in and snatched it. my husband the cheese lover is with me on that one. my children are trying to convince me otherwise. they said zach passed it off to grace and she gave it to marissa and marissa did not want it so she gave it to grace and you can tell where this is going. so they have me searching my house since they are adiment that it made it in. so if you find my cheese please let me know because i am sure once it starts to smell we will all know where it is!!!!!

I am having a very hard day today. Justin woke up with a terribly sore back and of course me knowing that this could turn into a full blown weeks worth of laying on his back i did my best to help him out. when i got home from the bus i sat down and looked out my back windows. i must admit it is beautiful out but i sure do hate being all alone. when we first moved i would open my front blinds to see the dairy and the goings ons but now i am just blaaah. whall i was sitting i thought about how much i loved going to the kids old school and seeing bridget and all the moms i knew now i feel like i am the new kid who doesn't quit fit in. my old friends understood me when i wore a hat since i have crazy hair now these ladies look at me like i must be lazy. i am really down in the dumps. Justin told me we would go out to lunch today to make me feel better and i told him not to worry about it since his back hurt. he took a nap and woke up and declared he had to go and get parts for the dairy. I WAS PISSED... i let him take a nap just so he could go and work. I just hate feeling all alone and the fact that his mom is the only person i have here and she NEVER CALLS TO SEE WHAT WE ARE DOING i am upset. she did call today to ask what my daughter wanted for her bday and that was all. oh well i think if she did invite me i would rather poke needles in my eardrums than go hang out with her. i know that sounds harsh but they are just not like my family and i will leave it at that. ok i won't she is the woman that after i had my 2nd baby brought me a gallon of milk and told me i owed her 2.50. i almost choked on my tongue she left the reciept and told me justin could pay her. my mom would buy me a cow and never ask me for a dime. we just don't get along with each other (she doesn't realize how much she bugs me though). my husband has to listen to me complain about it all. i could go on for hours but i won't. i just needed to vent. i am sure i will be back later to complain a little more for now i need to go tell the kids to stop filling up buckets in the shower and dumping them on grace's head.

My 3yr old Vet

Ok so picture this we go out for a walk just about every night. We live on 1200 acres and have 2000 cows so we are in the country. I usually jog (to keep my girlish figure) and my girls ride their scooters. We always have to go see the babies (calves). As we are walking thru the cows my 3 yr old tells me "oh mom she has gel" (meaning she is going to calf soon) and then she says "mom she has a bulging bag " (meaning her water bag is going to break soon) and i am like how on earth does she know this?? I asked her how she knew all of that she said "Mom everyone knows that!!" I am amazed by this because these are things i have progressively learned over the years. I think she will be a vet someday and then she can get paid for knowing everything.

Does this make sense???

My brain is really trying to figure this one out but i am at a loss. Why do i want another baby when i know i can't have one... wait i think i just figured it out i want one because i can't have one. My sis in law is pregnant and i am soooo jealous. My good friend is antcipation of the birth of her third and the last two times she was pregnant so was i. Before i got my tubes tied i told my husband absoulutely that was what i wanted. Then i had a hysterectomy and now i feel robbed. A girl i met up here said she had a DR.s appt and her husband was going and i was like i bet she is pregnant. Why do i feel this way? My kids are so close in age i had 4 kids in 4 yrs. When i was in the middle of newborn, toddler and kindergartner i was soooo busy. Don't get me wrong i am still busy but it seems like no one really wants to help a mother of 4 school age kids. I think that it is just sinking in that life with an 8,7,5 and almost 4 yr old is hard but i liked it when it was harder(how does that make any sense). I just loved having a baby crawling around or holding a chubby little 10 mo old playing peek a boo or there first halloween. I guess i liked the good attention, now all i get is oh wow you had your kids close. How old are you??? At times i think man i am so happy i don't have to wake up in the night but, when my sister tells me her 5 mo old is eating cereal for the first time i just wish i had the power to go back in time. I guess all i am going to learn from this is cherish every moment because i can hardly remember the things i thought i would NEVER EVER forget!!!!

The most commonly asked question. You live WHERE???? I'll tell you where we live IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE!! Ok the town does have a name although (I am seriously considering changing it. I think we would have majority vote). The town we live in is Burrell. The town consists of nothing more than a market and a few shacks oh and us fools who thought wow land is cheap there We'll TAKE IT! We are getting adjusted but I know it will take time. My kids ride the bus to the closest christian school which is 35-40 miles away. They do like the bus although I hate getting up whall it is still dark. Moving from my friends and family is the biggest thing i have had to deal with in a while. I need their support and just to be able to talk to someone who knows you really knows you is what i miss. I love my husband and support him in all his endeavors but i did not know what i was in for. The winter is coming and i hear so is the fog. My kids hear rumors of fog days and are excited everytime a tractor makes a little dust. I have to explain to them "no that is not fog it is 110 out side that is just a tractor". I just pray God keeps me sane and that i realize that he has a plan for us no matter what.